St. John, USVI, Part 2: Chicken(s) of the Sea

After a Christmas Day sail full of pepperoni pizza and rum punch, there was only one thing left to do afterwards: Grab some margaritas.

We ended up at Greengo's, a festive spot in Mongoose Junction.

By this point in our trip, I had almost made peace with the creepy-crawlies that were intent on terrorizing me wherever I went. At home, I styled myself as a modern-day Rambo, a can of BOP in one hand and an electric bug zapper in the other. At night, I rolled myself into a tight burrito made of bedsheets and topped with a thick layer of Deep Woods OFF. I steadfastly refused to use any light that didn't have a lightswitch after a particularly traumatizing incident involving a waterbug on a lampshade, and on occasion I even encountered an insect small enough to dispose of myself with my flip-flop, instead of my usual method of dropping a stockpot over the multi-legged beast and screaming bloody murder for Angel. In other words, I had the situation mostly under control.

Until we arrived home from Greengos and all hell broke loose.

There was a blackout. And to be honest, I'm not sure which was more terrifying: Having to use the outdoor shower in the pitch dark, or having to go to Christmas Dinner without the benefit of a mirror or a hairdryer.

Luckily our dinner was quite the distraction: a round of Copa Cabanas with Plantation overproof rum, lime, orange, and pineapple juice; tuna tartare; decadent Coquille St. Jacques; and the Caribbean version of a turducken: Lobster stuffed with shrimp stuffed with crabmeat, all topped with a creamy, citrusy sauce.

The next day we set off for the Art Bar in Cruz Bay. There, I treated Angel to a rum tasting to occupy him while I shopped their selection of beautiful hand-made jewelry.

We'd so enjoyed our earlier dinner at Extra Virgin that we decided to give their new sister restaurant, 1864, a try for lunch.

There, we enjoyed moules frites, a fabulous smashburger, and 1864's excellent focaccia.

Soon the beach beckoned again, so we set off for a soak.

After an afternoon in the hot sun, we'd worked up a thirst.

New Favorite Drink Alert: the R&R, made with St. John Brewers' draft root beer mixed with Cruzan vanilla rum.

The afternoon had turned cloudy, and by the time we got back to Sago Cottage, it had started to drizzle. Not that we let that spoil our fun.

By evening it was raining in earnest, so we decided to snuggle in with a couple of pizzas from Pizzabar in Paradise and a bottle of red wine, enjoying the sound of the rain drumming on the tin roof.

We spent the next morning taking in the spectacular view from the cottage.

Eventually we decided to check out nearby Salt Pond Bay, which is where we learned that "a trail good for all skill levels" still means that you should actually wear shoes.

Somehow we managed to make it to the beach with our ankles intact.

Happily, the day began to clear up, so we made a beeline for the Paddle-In Tiki Bar at Maho.

There, we discovered the Friend of the Devil, a Painkiller with bourbon instead of rum. I have no idea how I'd never thought of that before, but it's never too late to make a good cocktail even more deadly.

It's just a shame they were so stingy with the nutmeg.

Lunch was at High Tide, where we enjoyed crunchy coconut shrimp, spicy blackened fish, and a Caprese sandwich served with a tasty little pasta salad.

For dinner, we stuck close to home with some BBQ at Oasis, where we might as well been this potted plant for all the attention the bartender paid us.

And they were out of the mac & cheese, which is a far greater crime than just ignoring me.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny, which was perfect for what I had planned for our last full day.

We piled into the Jeep and set off for Hansen Bay and what would be one of the highlights of our trip, Lime Out.

I was practically giddy at the thought of not just tacos and Painkillers at Lime Out, but floating tacos and Painkillers, and so I was crestfallen when we learned that the pedal boat we planned to rent to get over there was not available, having filled with water from the rain the day before. But those tacos beckoned, and so Angel and a kind stranger managed to lift the massive pedal boat and drain it so we could pedal over to Lime Out.

Finally, having pedaled our little hearts out, we arrived at Lime Out, tied up our ride, and clambered "aboard."

We whiled away the afternoon with cocktails, tacos, and new friends.

Soon it was time to pedal back.

Of course, it's not every day that you find yourself pedaling away from a floating taco bar in the middle of a secluded bay at sunset and hear someone call your name, and I'll admit that my first thought was that I was hallucinating from one too many Painkillers. But there was Sandra, the caretaker who'd led us to Sago Cottage when we first arrived on St. John, and her partner Ronald on their sailboat, waving and inviting us aboard as we pedaled by.

Ronald went ashore to pick up Angel from returning the pedal boat, leaving Sandra and I alone to take silly selfies.

Sunset from a sailboat with new friends and a belly full of tacos and Painkillers? Not a bad way to end our last day.

It was our last night on island, so we headed back to what had quickly become a new favorite, Extra Virgin Bistro.

The next morning we soaked up the view one last time, said goodbye to our goat friends, and grabbed a quick lunch at the Westin before dragging ourselves to the nearby ferry dock.

On the way back to St. Thomas, we were treated to a rainbow spanning the horizon, a symbol of hope in many cultures. Angel's hope was that we'd return to St. John someday.

Mine was that I'd never see a billipede ever again.

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You may have spent the pandemic baking bread, organizing your closets, and learning to play the ukulele, but I spent it watching Tiger King and not blogging. But now I'm back, baby, and there's at least a year's worth of trips to catch up on! Up next? Anguilla, Antigua, and anyplace else that will permit disease-ridden Americans to enter the country. Click here to subscribe and you'll be the first to know when a new post goes up!